Blog
The signs and the questions are about what you have noticed. These are about what happens next — the conversation, the waiting, the record you are keeping, and the version where you were wrong.
- When they deny it and you still do not believe them
You asked, they said no, and it changed nothing. What a denial is actually evidence of.
· 7 min
- Why you keep checking, and what reduces it
Finding nothing is never final, so the loop has no exit. What actually makes it smaller.
· 7 min
- Who to tell, and when
Telling people is the obvious relief. It is also close to irreversible.
· 7 min
- The week after they admit it
Everything here so far has been about not knowing. This is the first week after you do.
· 7 min
- When you were wrong
You suspected, you asked, and it was nothing. That has a cost too, and nobody writes about it.
· 6 min
- What your memory does to the record
Once you suspect, everything you remember reorganises around the suspicion. Including the ordinary parts.
· 7 min
- When you have nothing but the feeling
The interval between noticing something and knowing anything is where most of the damage happens.
· 7 min
- How to ask, and when
The conversation you have rehearsed for weeks. How to open it so it stays a conversation.
· 7 min